Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Emma movie parody transcript

Emma movie Gwyneth Paltrow
So I recently watched Emma! Yeah, the one with Gwyneth Paltrow playing the english smartass girl Emma based on Jane Austen's novel! Here's what it looked to me -

ACT I:

Harriet Smith (Toni Collette): Ms. Woodhouse, I think Mr. Robert Martin (Edward Woodall) loves me.

Emma Woodhouse (Gwyneth Paltrow): Don't even think about it, you gotta marry Mr. Elton (Alan Cumming).

Harriet Smith: But Mr. Martin proposed me for marriage and I love him too!

Emma Woodhouse: Nopes, your true love is Mr. Elton.

Harriet Smith: But does Mr. Elton love me?

Emma Woodhouse: Yeah, remember he said my painting was so good?

Harriet Smith: and that means he loves ME?

Emma Woodhouse: Totally!

Harriet Smith: Sounds good, I guess he'll send me a marriage proposal soon!

(Mr. Elton gets married to someone else)

Emma Woodhouse: Shit!

Harriet Smith:
Gwyneth Paltrow, I so hate you.

ACT II:

Harriet Smith: Mr. Martin still wants to marry me!

Emma Woodhouse: Harriet you will never learn will you! Your true love is Mr. Churchill (Ewan McGregor).

Harriet Smith: But does Mr. Churchill love me?

Emma Woodhouse: Yeah, remember he saved us from muggers once?

Harriet Smith: So THAT means he loves me?

Emma Woodhouse: Yep!

Harriet Smith: Ok, sounds good! I love Mr. Churchill then!

(Frank Churchill gets married to someone else)

Emma Woodhouse: Shit!

Harriet Smith:
Gwyneth Paltrow, I so hate you.

ACT III:

Harriet Smith: Ms. Woodhouse, I guess Mr. Knightley (Brian Capron) is in love with me!

Emma Woodhouse: Did he tell you that?

Harriet Smith: Umm...no..But I'm sure he loves me.

Emma Woodhouse: Did he send a letter or something?

Harriet Smith: Not he hasn't but he totally digs me!

Emma Woodhouse: So how the hell do you know that he loves you?

Harriet Smith: umm...you know, we danced once together in that party.

(Emma promptly marries Mr. Knightley)

Harriet Smith: Shit! Ms. Woodhouse you b-tch!!

ACT IV:

Me: Jesus Christ! What the fu-k was that!!

No comments:

Post a Comment