So I recently watched Emma! Yeah, the one with Gwyneth Paltrow playing the english smartass girl Emma based on Jane Austen's novel! Here's what it looked to me -
ACT I:
Harriet Smith (Toni Collette): Ms. Woodhouse, I think Mr. Robert Martin (Edward Woodall) loves me.
Emma Woodhouse (Gwyneth Paltrow): Don't even think about it, you gotta marry Mr. Elton (Alan Cumming).
Harriet Smith: But Mr. Martin proposed me for marriage and I love him too!
Emma Woodhouse: Nopes, your true love is Mr. Elton.
Harriet Smith: But does Mr. Elton love me?
Emma Woodhouse: Yeah, remember he said my painting was so good?
Harriet Smith: and that means he loves ME?
Emma Woodhouse: Totally!
Harriet Smith: Sounds good, I guess he'll send me a marriage proposal soon!
(Mr. Elton gets married to someone else)
Emma Woodhouse: Shit!
Harriet Smith: Gwyneth Paltrow, I so hate you.
ACT II:
Harriet Smith: Mr. Martin still wants to marry me!
Emma Woodhouse: Harriet you will never learn will you! Your true love is Mr. Churchill (Ewan McGregor).
Harriet Smith: But does Mr. Churchill love me?
Emma Woodhouse: Yeah, remember he saved us from muggers once?
Harriet Smith: So THAT means he loves me?
Emma Woodhouse: Yep!
Harriet Smith: Ok, sounds good! I love Mr. Churchill then!
(Frank Churchill gets married to someone else)
Emma Woodhouse: Shit!
Harriet Smith: Gwyneth Paltrow, I so hate you.
ACT III:
Harriet Smith: Ms. Woodhouse, I guess Mr. Knightley (Brian Capron) is in love with me!
Emma Woodhouse: Did he tell you that?
Harriet Smith: Umm...no..But I'm sure he loves me.
Emma Woodhouse: Did he send a letter or something?
Harriet Smith: Not he hasn't but he totally digs me!
Emma Woodhouse: So how the hell do you know that he loves you?
Harriet Smith: umm...you know, we danced once together in that party.
(Emma promptly marries Mr. Knightley)
Harriet Smith: Shit! Ms. Woodhouse you b-tch!!
ACT IV:
Me: Jesus Christ! What the fu-k was that!!
No comments:
Post a Comment